Feeling the Joy in Evie Mile-stones.

"Comparison is the thief of joy" ~ Theodore Roosevelt

If we constantly compare ourselves to others, we run the risk of not seeing our own achievements, positive attributes and beauty. We would be losing so much joy, happiness and contentment within our own lives. I think we can look at others and use comparison in healthy ways too. If we see someone we admire, we can learn from them to achieve the things we want out of ourselves and in our lives. Often though, comparison is not used in an uplifting way, but as a method of belittling or negatively point out differences.

Parenthood is rife with comparison. Starting from the moment we give birth we are inundated with comparisons. Growth charts, statistics, milestone expectations, and countless others. Everyone you know asks what your new baby weighed and then parents will inevitably tell you what their babies weighed. It can definitely add to the joy and the experience, or it can bring about concerns and not-so-great feelings.

From the moment Evie was born, we've heard about the various comparisons for both typical kids and kids with T21. The milestone expectations for kids with T21 has a much, much wider range of ages than with typical kids. At first that bothered me, but now I actually see that as a positive. Really! I've found that I have been able to let go of the comparison charts for milestones because of this wider timeline. I've found it easier to just sit back and let it happen on Evie time. Perfect time.

Evie has been blossoming since moving to Hawai'i. She's been getting physical therapy and speech therapy every few weeks, and spends at least a few days a week around other kids her age. She also has a brother who has been working on teaching her how to walk, and walks all around the house with her.

Over the last few weeks, she has figured out how to turn her walking toy without our assistance. In the two weeks, she has started standing up unassisted. To watch her is the most awe-inspiring thing. She just keeps standing, no matter how many times she falls down, or manages a controlled sit-down. She can stand up on the hard floor, on the couch, and even in the uneven sand on the beach. She stood for several seconds the other night after getting up unassisted, clapping her hands, smiling, and waving her arms. This morning, she started walking assisted only holding on with one hand. She is always so proud of herself. We were (and still are) so proud of everything she accomplishes.

I remember celebrating Ben's big firsts and being over-the-moon excited for him. We still celebrate his firsts and I still aim to catch everything on camera. When photo or video memories come up, I notice the ages at which Ben achieved milestones. Many of them were significantly sooner than Evie's achievements. You know what though? It's okay!

I see other babies Evie's age or younger that are doing things "on time" and sometimes notice myself thinking "I wish I could hear her say..." or "I can't wait until she can...". Very rarely does this get to me in a negative way though. I know that Evie's time is beautiful. It's perfect. It's her time. I saw a memory the other day of Ben saying his baby version of "I love you." It was so precious in his little toddler voice and I just about burst the first time I heard him say it. I still love it in his pre-teen voice, even though he doesn't say it as often anymore.

The sweetness about Evie meeting these milestones on her time is that we don't know when it will happen. Sounds strange, I know. It's true though. We don't know when we should expect her to do these things, so when she does them it can be a huge surprise. In some ways, that makes this even sweeter! Until then, I get to enjoy the baby stage a little longer. I am soaking it in, knowing she is our last baby. All of her firsts will be our lasts as parents. I love this baby/toddler phase she is in. She definitely has the personality and facial expressions of a toddler. She is not walking, but bearcrawling, which is so stinkin' cute! She is not talking yet, other than "Mamamama" and "Dadadada" when she is coming for us.

Christmas was yesterday. I watched Ben tear open most of his presents without a single hang up. I did find a roll of high quality paper, and he did have to work a little harder with some of the bow tying I did. Evie doesn't quite grasp the idea of wrapping paper or understand how to tear it up to get to a present. She enjoyed the heck out of tearing up paper without restriction, though! Our girl has an affinity for all paper products: cardboard to toilet paper. Doesn't matter the size, the texture, or the color. She likes paper. She likes to tear it and she likes to chew it up. Though we try to minimize and stop the chewing, it was so fun to watch her get so excited about being able to tear up paper unabashedly. Once she realized there were toys in that paper, she forgot about the paper and moved on. I don't know how many more Christmases we'll get with her like this, and choose to enjoy it. It's not hard to do that. She is so cute and funny!

I believe we are wired for comparison. We are innately wired to compare what looks safe or dangerous, who is known or a stranger, the list goes on. For me, the lesson is letting go. It's something Rob and I have both had to work hard on since we met our Evie. Letting go of the need to know everything right now. Letting go of the need to make things happen. Letting go of our expectations. Letting go of comparisons. If it is not life-threatening or another significant life-altering event that requires us to know, we are learning to not give comparison the satisfaction of stealing our joy.