Rob and I recently had an enjoyable dinner with one of his friends, and it wasn't long before his friend brought up something that's been on his mind—questions about Evie! He was worried about being rude, but let me tell you, this has been on my mind a lot too! I totally get the dilemma of whether to ask questions, which ones to ask, and when it might be too much. Honestly, I've been there too, hesitant to ask questions when meeting a remarkable family or person. How do you know it's okay?
I'm still searching for the perfect answer, and maybe I never will find it. The truth is, we all handle questions differently. By "we," I mean parents of extraordinary kids everywhere. Our responses to questions vary widely. How we perceive and interpret them can depend on our mood, what's happening in our lives, or the daily challenges we're facing. We might feel overwhelmed, scared, or just trying to stay afloat. Or perhaps we're feeling confident, calm, open, and relatively relaxed at that moment or phase in our lives.
And then there's the way questions are asked. Are they asked with judgment, disgust, or assumptions? Or are they driven by curiosity, a desire to understand, or a wish to connect?
I've experienced times when I'm more open to questions and times when I've struggled with how to answer or preempt them. Right now, Rob and I are in a place where we welcome questions! We encourage them! There's so much we don't know how to answer. Future-oriented questions are particularly challenging because we can't predict Evie's needs or strengths as she grows. But we believe in her! She's incredibly smart and learns quickly in so many areas. We know she'll succeed, though the path is still a mystery. It's the same with Ben. We see where he's confident now, but who knows what he'll achieve in the future?
We're happy to say "I don't know" when we don't have an answer, but please, feel free to ask. We hope questions come from a place of kindness and curiosity, and I choose to assume that unless it's blatantly rude. I've only encountered one person like that. Most people are genuinely curious because they've never met anyone with T21. We hadn't either before Evie. So we understand!
Evie is full of wonders! She's a true light in our lives, changing us and making us better people without a doubt. There are things about Evie that anyone can see: her shy side, her outgoing side, her love of giving "knuckles," high-fives, and "binks" to strangers and friends alike in grocery store aisles.
That extra chromosome is packed with surprises, and we're learning every day. We know that Evie's unique journey with that extra chromie will differ from others with T21 because each one has their own distinct path. But we're thrilled to share what we do know!
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