“The more you try to control something, the more it controls you. Free yourself and let things take their own natural course.” - Author Unknown
“I am at a place in life where peace is a priority. I deliberately avoid certain people to protect my mental, emotional and spiritual state.” - Author Unknown
“Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.” – Wayne W. Dyer
I'm not sure if it's Evie's surprise birth diagnosis and the big and wonderful life changes, the move to Hawai'i and the culture here, my age, or all of it and then some, but I've been much more aware of and willing to protect my peace than ever before. I'm learning to say and mean "I don't have to give this my attention or my effort."
Twenty twenty-two was so hard, and also filled with so much joy. I wasn't okay early on. I wanted to be, but I just wasn't. I did a lot to help myself and to let others know what I needed from them. For that, I am so proud of myself. I didn't sit back and convince myself I had it all under control. To a great degree, being vocal about how I was feeling is what got me what I needed to get through it.
Before all of this, and most of my life, I have been a people pleaser. I've allowed people to pull energy from me, take up space in my head rent-free, and dictate my happiness and my view of myself. I've allowed heavily one-sided friendships and let others leave their problems, feelings, and needs at my feet. I'd scoop them up and carry them around with me. I was okay if they were. If they were not okay, I was not okay. Somehow it was my responsibility to make everything okay.
That continued only because I allowed it to continue. Read that again.
Fast-forward to now and I am no longer willing to be that person. In my personal life, I am no longer willing to be the one to take on anyone else's feelings as if they are my own. No more draining, one-sided relationships. That ship has sailed. I am SO GRATEFUL.
What matters most now is feeling fueled by those I choose to be around. Not that everything is always happy rainbows and puppies. That's not real life. I don't want to be around people who drain me. Who drain my energy. Who demand more of me than they do of themselves. Who only reach out when they need something.
Relationships of all kinds need energy, effort, and sometimes those things are not equal. We go through stressors and life changes that require more focus and that can mean that social interactions become limited for a while. So to be clear, I'm not saying that I expect my friends to be in my texts all the time, or always commenting on social media posts, or planning get-togethers. No score cards are kept here. Life is busy. That is not what I'm talking about when I'm focusing on protecting my peace. I'm focusing on protecting myself from those that drain me. From the things in life that are there to cause suffering, confusion, anger and pain. Isn't there enough of that in life without adding to it?
I hope I can continue to grow in this area and find other ways to protect my peace. There are some other things I have been protecting my peace from, but I'll refrain from getting into that because I'm protecting my peace. HaHa
Protect Your Peace
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